by Meredith Siegel Cohen, Creator, Single and Striking Out

This morning, I shocked myself by making what I think was one of the best cups of coffee I’ve ever had. No joke. Better than that purchased in well-known coffee shops. While I’m not making a dime from this endorsement, I do feel the need to share what I brewed— it is ‘Eight O’Clock’ ground coffee, in Cinnamon Vanilla. No added sweetness, but rife with flavor.

Of course, the brewing process only works well if you use the proper amount of ground coffee per water volume. This is something I typically get wrong, resulting either in watery coffee or a brew so strong it will zap off your eyebrows.

However, this particular roast, which I made rather quickly assuming it would be another ‘fail,’ came out perfectly delicious. I enjoyed every last sip with my oat milk.

You can’t know how grateful I was for this fresh cup of goodness on an early weekday morning. The house was quiet. Winnie had been walked and fed. I had my computer in front of me, and I’d been journaling, about to switch over to the news of the day. I was feeling peaceful with my mug of Joe, and my quiet mind.

With each sip, I was simply amazed by how I felt. And that amazement surprised me. How fortunate am I, at a newly-minted 54 years of age, that a simple cup of coffee can fill me with appreciation!? I didn’t dwell on the fact that there was no scrumptious piece of pastry for dunking, or a man for whom I could pour a cup. I mean, that would have been nice, but I was truly satisfied with what I had in front of me.

I was always a pretty grateful person. As a kid, if my mother bought me a new toothbrush, I’d get excited. It didn’t take much. More and more, I notice small things that bring a smile to my face. Take yesterday, for example. I was on my regular morning walk, relieved that the air was dry and even a little breezy without that suffocating humidity. The early sun peeked through the leaves, lighting up five shades of green against a flawless blue sky. It was beautiful, like an art exhibit on display just for me. 

Speaking of art, I was happy to go to the Philadelphia Museum of Art last weekend, where my kids and I explored the exhibit ‘Boom: Art and Design in the 1940’s.’ They blazed through the displays, leaving me to leisurely wander and read each description. Art in all its forms is fascinating because it offers a glimpse into another person’s perspective—one I could never experience if not for their work. Not only did I absorb the installations of furniture, fashion, fine art and jewelry, crafted during a transformative era, but I also noticed those around me. It felt hopeful and comforting to be with others who enjoyed learning and expanding their minds, and I was grateful to be among them.

We finished near the time of closing, and were directed towards one specific exit as staff were decorating for a wedding. How beautifully the stairwell was arranged with candles, greenery, and flowers! I thought about that initial stage of marriage—when everything is fresh and exciting. I remembered my own beautiful wedding and the hope I once held. Even now, divorced, I am grateful to have had that experience. As I walked past, I made a silent wish that this couple would experience all the joys of a forever union.

Of course, celebrating my recent birthday with my family, the people I cherish most in this world, filled me up. My children, now young adults, were generous with their time, treating me to breakfast, gifts and an early morning cake. (two cakes in one day, woohoo!) They only wanted to do things that would make me happy, and I felt such pride in raising two thoughtful and kind individuals.

Gratitude is certainly not a new concept, and I believe it was Oprah who more recently popularized it with her introduction of the gratitude journal. She did so with good reason. When we focus on what we have, and on appreciation for the wonder in the world, it makes us feel happier, lighter and well, better. It takes the focus off of what is missing or what we are lacking, and centers it on the abundance that is already in our lives, if we are willing and able to see it.

Being solo can be hard, when you really want to find love and partnership. A seemingly nice guy reached out to me yesterday from a dating site, but I expressed hesitation to move forward due to the distance between us. He sent a kind response, with the last line stating, “I just want to find someone to love.” How that pinged at my heart! I understand.

But as we can’t rush connection, being appreciative for the things we currently have in our lives softens the ache. For me, I have my health, my precious family, dear friends, laughter, a love of learning, beautiful sunny days, my “freedom” home, chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting, and almost every morning, a delicious cup of coffee.

So, to my fellow solo-ists out there, and anyone who may be a little too centered on what is missing, focus on what you do have. Believe me, I know full well there are days when you feel like you don’t have much left in the way of optimism. But if you dig a little deeper, and look a little more intently, you can find something. And when you find one thing, others follow.

I’m not trying to be Pollyanna; I know gratitude doesn’t fix everything. But it changes how we see our lives—and that shift matters. It lightens the weight of what we don’t have by bringing us back to what’s already here.

And sometimes, that’s as simple as a quiet morning and a really good cup of coffee.

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