by Meredith Siegel Cohen, Creator, Single and Striking Out

Today is my birthday, and I am incredibly grateful to be 54 years young.

I just love my day of celebration! Rain or shine, everything feels a little more special on July 17^th.  I wake up with a smile, have more pep in my step, and feel infused with happiness (and excitement over the chocolate cake with white buttercream frosting that I know is coming at some point).

Every year I have a ritual of journaling with reflection on my birthday. How do I feel? What are my aspirations for the coming year? And, perhaps most importantly, what wisdom did I gain from my wins and my missteps over the past 12 months? How can I be better in my relationships with others? How can I nurture myself more deeply?

 In essence, what did I learn in my 53^rd year?

Just One Lesson

Initially, I thought this piece would be about multiple lessons.

But I’ve come to realize there is just one rather large takeaway that was cemented for me over the past twelve months. And here it is:

Intuition is real.
Pay close attention.
Sometimes it whispers.
 Sometimes it screams.
But it should never be ignored.

That’s it. That’s the lesson.

It may sound simple. And corny. But it’s actually one of the most profound lessons I’ve ever learned.

Recently, I had a heart-to-heart with my daughter, as she was trying to process her feelings over someone with whom she had been in a relationship. She relayed their conversations and placed great reliance on the other party’s words.

Been there.

I gave her one piece of advice: to pay close attention to her body and the way she felt­­ when with this person—to hone in on the way her inner system was reacting. And it dawned on me that I was sharing the lesson I learned over and over again this past year.

A Deeper Knowing

To me, intuition is a knowing deep within my core. Before my brain registers something, or is even willing to accept a fact or circumstance, my gut has already taken decisive action and sounded the alarm. But listening to it, I mean really hearing, well, that takes work.

Getting to this point, and understanding the power of my inner voice, hasn’t been easy—and this past year gave me plenty of chances to listen (and almost ignore) her messages.

Since last July, I made some major changes in my life. I took a career pause, navigated the emotional fallout from the prior year’s relationship exit, and created a passion project (hint: you are reading an excerpt from it as we speak).

Stepping out of a long-time professional role was not something to be taken lightly. By all outward appearances, I was thriving. Contributing to the community. Respected by my colleagues. Yes, there were parts I really enjoyed. But gradually, I had been feeling as if it was time for something different. Something that would help me to grow in other ways. Yet I was vacillating. It was a big decision.

One particularly busy afternoon, I sat down at my desk after a meeting. My door was shut, it was quiet, and my head was in my hands. I looked around the room, and felt a knowing rise up. It was peaceful. There was no anxiety. It was time to make a change.

That same quiet voice bolstered me when I found myself missing my former relationship. While we broke up in the year prior, loneliness tapped me on the shoulder frequently this year. Especially after learning that he found another. I’m not sure if it was ego, envy, or nostalgia, but at times the pull to reach out was strong.

Walking away from someone you love is hard (also fueled by my intuition). Seeing him coupled up with someone new was brutal. How could he give his heart to her when he had supposedly given it to me? Irrational thoughts from someone who did the breaking up. I guess hearts aren’t always logical. Luckily, each time the “crazy” beckoned, my inner hero swooped in, cape and all.

Meredith, that chapter is over. Let him be happy. Be patient, love will find you, too, when the time is right.

I listened.

In fact, I took another, long-term knowing one step further.

Since my divorce, I knew it was imperative that I sit with myself. That I embrace the single part of my life and get comfortable with it. Took a while (8 years!!) to trust my gut and put myself out there. I had to push past the fear of judgment and criticism. And thank goodness I did.

My blog, Single and Striking Out, has given me such unexpected gifts. I see more and more how sharing vulnerabilities draws authentic connections. People have expressed to me that they feel a personal pull to my stories—that they ‘hit’ on a deeper level, single or not. I have also begun to feel a shift in my own comfort with my solo status, and discovered I’m pretty good company!  

Trusting in a Feeling

I can’t say it’s easy, but I see that I’m changing for the better. My boundaries are growing, in the healthiest of ways. I’m not wasting time, and refuse to entertain the interests of those with whom I know I do not match.

Trusting that inner voice from deep within takes courage. We are quick to rationalize why certain decisions make no sense, why the timing isn’t right, why the feeling is probably anxiety or fear instead of a real knowing. I would encourage you, just like I did my daughter, to sit with your body’s feelings, and not your mind’s arguments. Sit with them, question them, and see how often they are cropping up.

My intuition has already begun to play a part in molding my 54^th year, and I believe it’s going to be a great one, full of growth, new challenges and wonderful relationships.

Wishing you all a happy 17^th of July from a bit older and a bit wiser me.

XO,

Meredith

I’d love to hear your thoughts on intuition and how listening to your own has positively impacted your life! Please share more in the comments below.

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