By Meredith Siegel Cohen, Creator, Single and Striking Out

At the age of 50, I desperately wanted a third child.

Just not of the human kind.

I was lonely. My children were both living away at college. I was divorced, ‘off’ again with my boyfriend, and still missing the presence of my beloved dog, who had passed a few years earlier.

I was at a much different place in my life than when we brought Mallorie Mae home. A standard labradoodle, “Mally,” as we lovingly called her, was raised in an environment with a stay-at-home mother to two young children. She grew up with a lot of attention and people at her side. She had a big, fenced backyard to run in (which meant I didn’t have to walk her on bad-weather days). There were also plenty of neighborhood dogs for her to play with.

She was a quiet, demure canine. Standing at 55 pounds, with black and white coloring, Mally was a gentle giant. You could stick your hand in her mouth, and those big teeth would never bite down. She only existed to give love. And, she was MY girl. She followed me everywhere. Wherever I stopped, she would lay down and curl up beside me, eschewing the kids and my husband. People would always joke, “she’s Meredith’s dog.” I loved it.

She was my steadfast companion as the kids grew more independent, a happy greeter when I went back to work, a beacon of solace as I suffered through my marital woes, and always, always a source of comfort and joy.

When I divorced, there was no question that Mally would stay with me. A couple years after I moved, she had developed some health problems, but they did not seem to impact her daily activity. Thus, we were caught off guard on the fateful morning when she unexpectedly seizured and became incapacitated. Thankfully, my two teenagers, on their way to school, instinctively knew to circle back to the house, as it took three of us to load her in the car and take her to the vet. Saying goodbye to Mally, as I held her in my arms and caressed her while the doctor gently laid her to rest, truly broke my heart.

I still get choked up when I think of that morning. I lost a “child,” a dear friend, and the most loyal companion. The tears are flowing as I write this. Here’s a pic of our gorgeous Mally.

It’s hard for some to believe that an animal can become so woven into your heart. But they really do. With Mallorie gone, and both of my children out of the house shortly thereafter, I lived a very quiet existence.

Admittedly, my life got easier. I did not have a fenced grassy yard for her in my new townhome community. So, every time she had to go out, she had to be walked – rain, snow, sleet, heatwave. And, of course, if I wanted to travel or be out for longer periods of time, she had to be boarded, in addition to the expense of a dog’s food, toys, and healthcare.

Now, those things were no longer an issue.

Still, as a solo, I grew to miss having the company of a dog in the house.

The desire starts innocently enough. You begin to google breeders and/or rescues, and look at photos. Then, it’s only a matter of time.

Enter my second canine companion— a “mini” labradoodle.

On the site, I saw her little face and was instantly hooked. I visited ‘pink band girl’ at the breeder, when she was 8 weeks old. OMG. How could I walk away from this?

Yet walk I did. I actually made a list of pros and cons, concluding this would be too much of a challenge. It was limiting on my freedom. It was costly. It could be difficult with my career.

And then . . . the minute I said no, I started regretting.

So much so, that I would look to see if her pic was still up. For a couple weeks it was, until . . . it wasn’t. The regret built up, and I began religiously looking on the site to see if another pup would fit the bill. None did.

Much to my shock and delight, one month later, pink band girl was back up! It hadn’t worked out with her initial ‘taker’ — which probably should have given me pause. But I was so excited, I immediately called the breeder. I said I’d be there in a week — and, oh by the way, her name was Winnie.  Winnie Mae (in memory of her sister).

As Winnie settled in to her new home, I learned that dogs of the same breed can have very different dispositions. While loving with our family, this one is clinically anxious. She requires a behaviorist (no, I’m not kidding), a prescription of Zoloft (still not kidding), and a firm eye when out, lest she start growling at unsuspecting folks. She really is a loving girl, but fearful of the world around her.

It isn’t easy, as my neighborhood has a ton of owners with pets. When I walk her, I’m constantly weaving and bobbing. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Winnie has brought fun and love and happiness into this home. I mean, just look at her!

Dogs provide so many benefits to those of us living alone.

In his article, Singles and Their Pets, Pete McGrath shares his findings from research he conducted to ascertain differences between singles and non-single pet ownership. The results showed that singles, more than couples, have pets for companionship, and view them as a “friend” more than a child. He also notes how many profiles on dating sites require ‘a love of dogs.’ (something to which I can personally attest, including my own!) Moreover, he notes that 78% singles would choose their pet (probably or definitely) over their partners, versus 24% of partnered people. Can’t say I’m shocked. To read more, go to: https://petermcgraw.org/singles-and-their-pets/.

Dogs are also good for our health! According to an article from United Healthcare (https://www.uhc.com/news-articles/healthy-living/5-benefits-of-pets-for-people-who-live-alone), there are five ways a pet can boost your health and reduce loneliness, particularly for those over 45:

1. Provides greater connection: The bonds between pet and human are strong, and offer unconditional love.

2. Expands one’s social circle: Walking a dog can offer opportunities for conversation with other pet owners — and may even help foster a friendship.

3. Creates purpose and daily routines: Pets rely on us, and force us to create daily routines around their needs. This sense of purpose creates meaning in our lives and reduces loneliness.

4. Increases activity levels: Having a dog, in particular, may help people get outside and be more active. One way or another, they have to be walked!

5. Benefits heart health: Loneliness can cause an inflammatory stress response, leading to heart problems. Having a pet — particularly one you can walk — may help reduce the risk of stroke or heart attack.

There is something truly special about the unconditional love and steady companionship a dog offers, especially for those of us living solo. While Winnie doesn’t replace the connection of a romantic partner or a close friend, she fills an important space with her own kind of love. Connection can come from a variety of sources — sometimes it has four legs and a wagging tail from a precious pooch.

Granted, it’s not so precious when your darling dog wakes you at 5am to go out. Here’s how most mornings look with Miss Winnie:

Please share photos, thoughts, and fun experiences with your favorite furry friend in the comments below!!

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