by Meredith Siegel Cohen, Creator, Single and Striking Out
And love. And chocolate. Not necessarily in that order.
Every time February 14th rolled around, my ex would pull out the ready excuse that Valentine’s Day was a “Hallmark holiday.” Much to my chagrin, he’d give the same canned speech each year, insisting he didn’t need a “made-up day” to express his affection. And so, the 24 hours would pass without much fanfare.
Anyone else been there?
The thing is, I love Valentine’s Day. LOVE it! Who wouldn’t enjoy a day dedicated to love, romance, and—let’s be real—chocolate?! Admittedly, it’s super fun when you’re coupled up. At least, when both parties actually appreciate the significance.
But being single on a day meant for two? That’s a whole different story.
Feeling Blue on a Day of Red
It can be a reminder of what’s missing—no spouse or partner to wake you up with a hug and a fresh cup of coffee, no big, cheesy (yet highly anticipated) red heart box of knife candy (a term I’ve coined for those assorted chocolate boxes, where I have to cut each piece with a knife to see what I’m getting before shoving it in my mouth), no cards, no roses, no reservations, and, ugh, no intimacy.
And the build-up? It’s everywhere. Drugstores, supermarkets, retail stores, and online ads all go red and Pepto-Bismol pink, loudly proclaiming the importance of celebrating the Day of Love.
For years after a divorce, the ins and outs of a long-term relationship, and some lackluster dating experiences, Valentine’s Day made me feel sad and sorry for myself. It put a big red question mark in front of me: Yes, I’m solo now, but what will the future bring? Will I be single for every Valentine’s Day hereafter, or will someone special enter the picture and bring that sizzle back to the holiday?
Flipping the Script on Valentine’s Day
This year, I’m changing the narrative. Because, my fellow solo-ists, without breaking into a Whitney Houston moment, I can honestly say the greatest love of all is me! (and my family)
I may not know what my future holds, but I do know this: I’m not going to settle or compromise just to have someone buy me knife candy! Instead, I’m celebrating me with me, and I suggest you do the same.
Here are a few ideas for celebrating our very special single-ness:
💝 Treat Yourself Like a Plus One – Have flowers delivered to YOU, buy the most beautiful heart-shaped box of candy (and let your knife go to town), and pop open a bottle of delicious cabernet!
💆 Prioritize Self-Care – Book a massage, facial, manicure, or pedicure. Or create a soothing atmosphere at home with candles, music, and a bubble bath. Then Netflix and chill (solo-style).
🎨 Explore a New Hobby – Try a cooking class, painting class, or journaling session. Start a creative project. Blog, anyone?
👯♀️ Have a Gal-entines Day – Plan a group outing, game night, or movie with other soloists. Let’s face it—our married friends probably won’t be joining us!
🐶 Volunteer & Spread Love – Doing a selfless act is one of the best ways to feel good. Donate time, drop off items at a food pantry, or pet some adorable animals at a shelter.
🚗 Take a Solo Adventure – Go on a day trip to a nearby town or explore a new part of your city.
📖 Befriend a Book – Curl up with a great book and enjoy a cozy evening.
🎁 Gift Yourself Something Special – Buy that outfit, accessory, or gadget you’ve been eyeing.
🍽️ Have a Fancy Dinner In – Order takeout from your favorite restaurant. Light candles, set out your finest china, and savor each bite. With that delicious cabernet, of course.
🍷 Have a Fancy Dinner Out – Take yourself to your favorite restaurant and order that special dish. This one takes some courage, especially on a night meant for couples, but hey—more power to you! If you do it, I’d love to hear about it!
This Valentine’s Day, let’s take a moment to appreciate the remarkable, beautiful, and unique ways we bring value into the world—simply by being ourselves. Just as we would celebrate a loved one, let’s show ourselves that same kindness and care, without seeking external validation. Self-love isn’t always easy, but it’s the most important gift we can give ourselves.
I’m thinking about going to a Valentine’s Day orchestra concert (which would require bravery on my part) or maybe ordering in. What are your plans? Share them below—you might spark some new, creative ideas for all of us!
Wishing you a sweet, happy, and healthy Valentine’s Day!
Xoxoxo,
Meredith